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Are You Kidding Me Bro?

January 5, 2011

BEIJING (Reuters) – Torrential icy rain across five provinces in southern China has forced 58,000 people to evacuate from their damaged homes, causing economic losses of $203.8 million, the ministry of civil affairs said on Wednesday.
Freezing rain has pummeled the provinces of Jiangxi, Hunan, Chongqing, Sichuan and Guizhou in the past few days, killing one person and causing more than 1,200 houses to collapse, the ministry added.

The harsh weather in southern China, where winter is usually relatively mild, has damaged 142,400 hectares of crops in the provinces that produce rice, timber and coal and caused economic losses of 1.35 billion yuan ($203.8 million) as of Tuesday, the ministry added.

In southwestern Guizhou province, 22,800 people were forced to evacuate from their homes on Tuesday, state news agency Xinhua reported.

The icy weather and sleet have paralyzed traffic and strained power networks in some areas ahead of the vast migrations of people for the Lunar New Year holiday next month. Highways in Guizhou have been clogged in the past few days, leaving thousands stranded in their cars as almost all expressways in the province were closed, said the Guizhou Provincial Department of Transport.

On Tuesday, traffic slowly returned to normal in Guizhou as all ice-covered highways reopened after being closed for over 30 hours. Guizhou’s provincial weather forecaster warned that it could take five more days for the cold and rainy weather to subside.

In early 2008, freezing weather across southern China caused power cuts and transport chaos, preventing many residents from spending the Lunar New Year with their families. The disruption rippled across the region, causing a brief spike in food prices.

The big deal with this here is that China is basically better than us in everything.  We’re good at drinking, they’re good at having babies, making nukes, and doing math.  We have baseball, they have Ninja Warrior.  We all know which is more fun to watch.

But you know what? At least we can build goddamn houses.  Seriously, maybe its about time I take a trip out East to check out these “homes”.  Are they made of mud and popsicle sticks?  58,000 people were forced to evacuate from their homes.  Maybe they aren’t as prepared for the winters like we are, understandable, but come the fuck on, its freezing rain.  I guess the reasonable explanation is that they were made in China.

I like how this writer needs to add that a grand total of 1 person was killed this entire time, oh, how horrific.  I’d say out of evacuating 58,000 people, 1 person dead is no biggie. 

Theres video of people salting highways by hand.  I say good luck to you sirs, you’re absolutely fucked.  Oh and have fun heating up your railways up by hand too, that’s a guaranteed fix.  Next you should try dumping water on everything, watch it melt, then move on.  There’s no way it refreezes. 

Looks like you might have to give your good ‘ol friends in the US of A a call.  Upstate New York can chip in the Salt and Trucks, then how about we call the $1 trillion we owe you even.  May the force be with you Bros, you’re going to need it.

3 Comments leave one →
  1. January 5, 2011 2:54 AM

    In your post, as you mock Mr Chan et al, you seem to forget the Hurricane Katrina debacle. Do I sense a bit of hostility towards the new world colonialists? Deal with it, Bro, the US is a society in decline, an economy on the wrong side of the tipping point, an also ran…

    Heck, as for giving our “good ‘ol friends in the US a call”, no thank you. The risk of a friendly fire incident is way to great.


    • January 5, 2011 11:41 AM

      The only thing you can apoligize for is taking this way too seriously. I know the US is in a decline, and will eventually be taken over as the world super power by China, history repeats itself and this is a cycle that remains consistent. If you decide to read The BroCave ever again, try entering with a more relaxed, less hostile general attitude. No hostility here from me, just having fun.

  2. January 6, 2011 4:32 AM

    A suggestion – try writing a bit more tongue in cheek then. In other words- make it obvious, ‘cos it sure don’t seem like you been having too much fun.

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